


my heart was blue

by ddeungwannie (galaxygerbil)



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: F/F, POV Second Person, Rookie Idol AU, except the idol is You and wendy is the fansite, fansite au, idol/fansite au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:27:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22071016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxygerbil/pseuds/ddeungwannie
Summary: If you close your eyes you can almost pretend you’re a regular couple by Han River, walking along its bank in the middle of a cold winter’s evening after stuffing your faces full with warm food and emptying your wallets for noraebang.Instead you’re in this reality where you’re hiding your identity like it deserves to be locked away, beside her car at a parking lot you walked to after being dropped off by a taxi cab two blocks from here.
Relationships: Son Seungwan | Wendy/Original Female Character(s), Son Seungwan | Wendy/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 65
Collections: Sonshine Prose





	my heart was blue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [birdmint](https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdmint/gifts).



The stage director’s countdown rings through your earpiece. The next song is ready to go, and the unnies had already patted your forehead dry. The blazer they first put on you got ripped midway through your wearing it, so another assistant is running through the dark looking for the spare.

You take a deep breath and close your eyes. This is it. This is it. Don’t crumble now.

“Put this on,” the assistant quickly whispers then slips the blazer over your shoulders. The room backstage is too warm— too hot— and your sweat is dripping from your chin and wetting your ruffled collar. No time to fix that now, you’re up in fifteen seconds.

You take a step, and then another. The assistants have left your side; it’s only you, the crowd, and the space in between. The lift is stable beneath your feet, the microphone feels like it belongs in your hand. You were made for this. Show them.

Show her.

No— it’s not just about her. This is about you, your members, all of your fans. 

Your endless nights of practice, throat going sore. Your constant state of movement, staying in sync with the other three girls. Your _Promises—_ the fans who have gotten you this far and tasted your moments of victory and cried with you in your moments of defeat— they deserve this concert. This is for you, for them, for—

In a way it seems like _everything_ is about her; look pretty for her, smile big, shine bright like you don’t want her to look at any other gleaming gem in the night sky. 

You take a deep breath as the lift rises and the screams get wilder. It’s almost as if you can hear one louder than the rest. From the block of seats near the middle, one of the best in the house. 

You would know. 

You handed them to her personally.

-💙-

**_RVB Entertainment Hints at New Girl Group in 2020_ **

_[+193, -28] LOL is your company under scrutiny?? then just go distract the gp with a new girlgroup_  
_[+132, -17] whaaaaat.. TT just give your other groups a comeback.. it’s not that hard!!!_  
_[+97, -12] RVB trying to escape tax crimes by shelling out more money, that’s insane_  
_[+76, -44] RVB!!! what the heck!!!!!!!!! what about your older groups!!!!!!!!!!!!_

-💙-

Your group’s debut is a bust. A flop. A complete failure.

There are not enough words in any language that will be able to encapsulate just how devastating your debut song performed. Twenty seven copies in the first three days. _Twenty seven copies in the first three days_. That’s a little under 7 albums per member. That’s all of you and your members’ immediate family buying two copies each. Maybe they did. Maybe they were the only ones who cared enough to.

You want to cry, but haven’t you cried enough? What’s done is done, you can’t do anything about that. Your first fansign and fanmeet scheduled next week are barely worth it with twenty seven physical sales. Digital sales are increasing because your music video caught the eye of some international fans, but without much content they don’t have anything. 

Your company hasn’t planned that far ahead— this girl group was supposed to come in and then fade away until the trainee boys are ready to debut after the negative media attention. RVB is using you as the scapegoat. Depressing— but completely unsurprising.

“Don’t make that face,” your leader snaps at you.

You blink, then turn to stare at the eldest. “What…”

“It’s not over. It’s been three days,” she says, as if it means anything. This was a ticking time bomb from the start, but she’s acting like it will blow over. “Don’t act like it’s the end of your career.”

 _My career never had chance to take flight_ , you want to spit out, thinking of the boys probably laughing behind closed doors in RVB, using the good practice room because _Boys are bigger, they need more space,_ eating three meals a day and dancing like they still have something left to prove.

“Right,” you nod. Your leader doesn’t budge; stares right at you as if she knows what you’re thinking. You’ve trained together for several years. She probably does. “I understand, unnie.”

She tugs at your sweater and opens the van door herself, because your manager has already stepped out of the vehicle. One by one, you make your way out of the car, and then—

And then a camera clicks. And clicks. And clicks.

You turn your head, surprised. That’s.. not the media cameras. It’s a girl smaller than you, with a DSLR, standing about twenty feet away. She’s waving and pointing into the lens in hand. 

You didn’t think anyone would bother to be a fansite for the latest laughing stock in K-Pop. But it’s a blessing, and it eases your nerves. There’s someone out there who cares enough to take the time and effort to see to your girl group— and that’s asking a lot.

The girl has noticed you staring and hops in place, pointing into her lens again.

 _Well, might as well give her what she wants_ , you think, and give your best grin. Then she pulls out something from her coat pocket and places it against the flash of her equipment, right where you can see it.

It’s your name.

“It’s your name,” your youngest grins at you. “Congrats, unnie. You have your own fansite.”

You stare in stunned silence as your group approaches. Your other members wave at her politely as well, but all you do is stare, like if you look away she’ll fade into nonexistence. As if you’d just conjured her up.

Your own fansite. _Yours_.

She finally pulls the camera down and you’re greeted by big, bright eyes and a tentative smile. The girl has her phone out, taking a video as well as photos. The case on it has your girl group name plastered on— it’s the only information the fans have right now, besides your real names and ages. You read it slowly, gulping.

 _Neverland_.

Then you look at her again. She’s five feet too far away to converse with properly, your members have left your side, and you’re acting like you’ve never done solo fanservice in your life despite the hours you’d spent in front of a mirror practicing it.

“Hi… are you…?” you start to say, trying to ask if she’s dedicated to you as if she doesn’t have your name plastered onto her camera. “My…?”

She tilts her head and giggles and you forget that she probably can’t hear you over the buzz of the crew around you and the crowds of other people everywhere else.

“What’s your…” you try to ask for her fansite name, and she raises the laminated ID she had attached to a lace:

 _Blue Wendy_.

The Wendy to your Neverland.

-💙-

Your first fansign is the next time you see _Blue Wendy_ , and the seating arrangement had her coming to you last.

“Unnie!”

You can’t help but smile. You don’t know if she’s younger than you or not, but you don’t mind the honorific. Her voice is bright and clear, sunshine on a bright day just like she is. Even her eyes shine.

“Blue Wendy~” You say lovingly, and if it sounds a little more sincere than all your other greetings for other fans… well. “How are—”

“You know my name!” She gasps, eyes wide, and you get startled a bit too. Her voice can be _loud_. 

Your manager steps closer behind you and starts to usher her to go faster, as if you don’t have all the time in the world with the grand total of a few people who came to this fansign. You suppose it’s worth pretending you’re important enough.

“Well—” she backtracks a bit, flustered. “I’m sorry. I mean, you remembered by ID— my fansite name, even though— I still remember how you looked, because I have photos. I— I mean. Yes, I’m Blue Wendy.”

You find that throughout her ramble you’d ended up with your chin in hand, enraptured. “Did you want me to…” you start to say, trying not to smile too widely at her state as she fumbles two albums in hand.

“One is for Blue Wendy,” she says, pointing to the photobook right in front of you. “And the other is… for me. Son Seungwan.”

“Son Seungwan,” you repeat, nodding. What a beautiful name.

She continues talking as you write a message. “Yes, it’s a boy’s name. I didn’t really… I think Wendy would be a better name,” she admits, looking away.

“It’s perfect because it’s yours.” You finish up and sign the two photocards in front of you, one of your group maknae and the other of your leader. “Oh, it’s too bad you didn’t get me this time,” you tease her.

And she looks at you, her gaze steady and face an attractive hue of red. “That’s okay. I’ll have you when I’m meant to.”

Your hand stops moving on the page, and you stare at her like she’s here. Like she wants to stay right here, with you. 

“Right, unnie?”

“Yes.” The two of you share a small smile. “I couldn’t have put it better myself.”

You sign off your message with a heart and place the book delicately in her hands. Her touch lingers long after she’s left the line and returned to her place to take photos, lens always focused on you, smiling behind the camera.

-💙-

“Did you know—”

“That I would die if you spoke another word? I would literally collapse and die.” You grumble, holding the massager against the sort spot on your shoulder. “Yes, I do. So please stop saying anything.”

“You’re so dramatic,” the second youngest in your group whines, stretching out on the bench against the wall. Ever since your third album hit a perfect all-kill this year, the company has been improving its facilities. Not your salaries, but that was a given; it’s written in the contract you signed three years ago, and that won’t change until four more years.

You heave a big sigh and close your eyes. “You’re so annoying. You’re almost worse than—”

“Don’t even think of saying that name in front of me!” She yelps out, punching at your thigh. You don’t react; you’re way too used to it. “And besides, I was only going to state a fun fact.”

“Fine, give me the fun fact.”

She grins a little too evilly at you. “Did you know that 99.98% of sasaeng are fansites?”

You turn off the massager, open your eyes, and turn to her. She’s looking at you while smiling, but it soon falls off her face with the serious look in your eye. 

“What are you trying to imply giving me a false fact like that?” 

You’ve done your research. You’ve taken all precautions. Your members know, of course, that you’d been flirting with Seungwan for a while through KaKaoTalk. She should know better.

“Unnie—”

You cut her off by standing and going straight to your bag, not bothering to fix the things that were haphazardly thrown on top and only managing to shove them in the open zipper. _This is so stupid_. She doesn’t understand. None of them do, and none of them even want to try.

“I can’t believe you,” you snap out. “Not because I’m your unnie, but because I think of you as my sister and right now I can barely call you a friend.” In your head, you know you’re overreacting, but the words have already come out. Acid burning on your tongue.

Your dongsaeng looks ashamed, but you can’t deal with that right now.

The door slams shut behind you.

-💙-

You feel an arm wrap around your waist and a head lean against your shoulder. It’s a little funny, you think, because she’s right around the same height as—

“Did you know—”

“That I’m small? Yes,” she grumbles and sighs. You watch her facemask move when she speaks; her voice is husky because of the cold and she puffs out a warm breath into the cold air between the two of you. “You tell me that all the time.”

You raise a hand and tap her nose, and she gasps and pulls away. 

“Yah!” Her eyes are almost comically wide, and you can’t help but giggle. It causes your sunglasses to slip a bit, so you tug them up again. 

“I was going to say you’re almost the same height as unnie,” you tut and lean your cheek against hers. 

If you close your eyes you can almost pretend you’re a regular couple by Han River, walking along its bank in the middle of a cold winter’s evening after stuffing your faces full with warm food and emptying your wallets for noraebang. Instead you’re in this reality where you’re hiding your identity like it deserves to be locked away, beside her car at a parking lot you walked to after being dropped off by a taxi cab two blocks from here.

“As…? You mean your group leader?” She tilts her head like a confused puppy, and you’re reminded of the first day you saw her. You feel the same way now, like she’ll disappear in the night if you blink. Like she’ll leave anytime.

You nod and step back to stare at her covered in shadows and against the door of her SUV. The streetlights barely make their way towards where you are, and you want to kiss her even though you’re in the middle of a conversation.

“How can you be thinking of other girls when you’re with me?” You can hear the pout in her voice, and the urge to do away with the hair’s breadth between your bodies becomes stronger.

You’re bathed in moonlight and the tempting shadows of escape, so different from the stage and bright flashes of a camera. If anything, she should be taking photos of you in your most vulnerable moments, but she doesn’t. She’s never been like that. She’s always only thought of you.

“Ah, Seungwan,” you say her name softly like it’s a secret. It is. “Are you jealous of how close I am with my members?” You tease her, breath ghosting over her ear. Her piercings feel cold against your lips.

“No,” she whispers confidently. This moment would be too warm— too hot and suffocating— if it was anyone else but her. “I know you’re mine.”

“That’s right.” You think you sound like you want to cry.

She kisses your shoulder. “Just like I’m yours.”

-💙-

“Despite your talent, you didn’t have an easy debut. What do you think changed that?” the radio show asks as he turns down the background music.

Your members turn to you, grinning sneakily behind their microphones, and you hope Seungwan is right outside capturing the smile on your face that _she’s_ put there.

“Well, my photos from our very first fansign went viral, and…”

**Author's Note:**

> #GalaxyBird fic trade where [birdii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdmint/pseuds/birdii) gave the prompt: Y/N is a Rookie Idol struck by Wendy, their dedicated fansite
> 
>  **ChasetheMoonGalaxyBird Project**  
>  ChaseTheSun's [Moon x Ocean AU](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22113118).  
> 8moon2stars' [Name & Number Soulmate AU](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22112659).  
> birdmint's [Song Soulmate AU](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22308970).
> 
> -Thank you **moonie** for alpha reading  
> -Thank you **j.** for beta reading


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